Here they be mahearties. 

These are the actual signs used in  my race. It was a lot like the space race. The soviets won.

I possess psychic abilities. At the end of this sentence you will think of a WALRUS.

Once upon a time I was an all powerful plant god. I invented carrots, yep, you can thank me. 

If you think I use my free-time only to write these signs you... well ... you're right. Damn I'm a nerd. 

I can see your past ... that was a great potato wasn't it?

I once commanded an elite group of freedom fighters and we fought against incredible odds. Eventually we blew up the death star. 

This one is like a mirror (sign reads both ways)

Once a little man told me to follow my dreams, sadly he followed his into an extremely unattentive combine machine... he was cool.

Sometimes I wonder what my purpose is. Then I see a human and think, "oh yeah, World Domination" and it is all better.

I'll trade you my vintage holographic Japanese charizard for your Corvette and Family, but only if you don't get fingerprints on it. 

Statistics say you may have free radicals in your lungs... Now you have one to vote for too!

Just like that one time ... y'know ... only better

Not the same as every other trio of ducks in a man suit

This is the rare lowercase "G" sign tell your friends

Grassroots signs means grassroots man. I will eat a pigeon when I am fifty.

This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. beepbeepbeeeeeeeep... beepbeepbeeeeeeeep!

I can digest complex proteins in record time

I will save you from the evil clowns

You are reading this ... hooray interest!

I am the God of dodge ball.  but you can call me John

You will notice my sideways letter technique on these signs ... it is not copywrited so consider my gift to you.

Smile, your on candid camera!

The writing on this paper is thinner than the others. I am not.

The orange juice here is shifty

This is not a test, you really can read. So remember Brewer for governor and prove you can check.

I am a well of unexpected ideas and smells. Most of them are good.

 This one deals out dust, just stand there for three hundred years to receive your share.

I am Jack's candidate

If I win it is a sure sign of the end times

As the curious kitten is mowed down on the freeway so too shall my campaign be

I have read the job description, have you? Vote for a literate man! Vote for someone with feet!

My platform is my life, and I am not an Emo kid.

10010001110011100011100110011101. Hah! No your mom is cool.

I HAVE A NOSE!

I once saved an entire anthill from destruction by placing a small cup over it.  That's the kind of man I am.
 
Though I lack talons I can still render a cow into hundreds of steaks in mere seconds.  how you ask?  my gnomes.
 
I once scaled a mountain in three hours.  That was life, this is Walgreens...or Boys State... whichever is cooler.

I was born in a small town way south. THEN CAME THE LOCUSTS!

I care enough to write all of these signs... why not elect me? I like kittens!